Hi everyone,
It’s been a strange and heavy time since my dad passed away on June 12th. We've been living with the shadow of his illness since 2016, but losing him has left a void that feels impossible to fill. Life without him feels surreal, like the world is slightly off.
We’ve spent the past several years grappling with my dad’s diagnosis of PPA (Primary Progressive Aphasia). Watching him change and lose pieces of himself was heartbreaking. The challenges were relentless, and each day seemed to bring a new hurdle. We struggled to find the right care, encountered gaps in the medical system, and faced moments of sheer frustration and helplessness.
Losing my dad has brought a flood of mixed emotions. In many ways, I feel like I’ve been grieving him for years, mourning the moments we never got to share, and the experiences he missed. My kids won’t get to know the incredible man he was, and he didn’t get to see the person I’ve become. I know he would be proud, but there’s a sadness in not hearing those words from him.
As we waited for the inevitable, we found ourselves having the feelings between wanting his suffering to end and dreading the final goodbye. He fought so hard, holding on longer than we expected, a testament to his stubborn spirit. In the end, all we could do was surround him with love and assure him it was okay to let go.
The outpouring of support from friends, family, and even strangers has been a light during a dark time. It’s a reminder that we’re not alone, and that love and kindness are still powerful forces in the world.
Reflecting on my dad’s life, I’m filled with gratitude for the memories we shared. His infectious laugh, his ability to brighten any room, and the unconditional love he gave us will always be a part of me. I’ve been told to forgive and let go of any grievances, but honestly, I have none. My dad was a gentle soul, and our bond was one of pure love and mutual respect.
We’ve had family gatherings filled with laughter and tears, reminiscing about the good times and finding comfort in each other. I think about my own relationship with my siblings and feel so lucky to have them by my side during this time.
Two weeks after his passing, I got married. It was a whirlwind of emotions—celebrating love and new beginnings while still deeply grieving my dad’s loss. But I realized that it’s okay to feel joy even in the midst of sorrow. Life doesn’t pause for us to grieve, and it’s important to embrace the moments of happiness that come our way. It was a beautiful reminder that love and grief can coexist, and that my dad’s spirit was with me, sharing in the joy of that special day.
Every moment feels like a step toward healing, even if it’s a slow and painful process. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of this, it’s the importance of capturing memories. Take the pictures, save the videos. Those snapshots of happier times become invaluable treasures when the ones we love are gone.
Thank you for being part of this journey with me, for your support and your love. It means more than I can express.
With love and gratitude,
Becky
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