The Longest 10 Days (And the Sweetest News Yet)

The Longest 10 Days (And the Sweetest News Yet)

Wow. First, let me say I’m so sorry it’s been over a month since my last blog post. Life completely took off for a couple of weeks, and there’s been so much going on that sitting down to write felt impossible. But here I am, with an update that’s been worth the wait!

When we last left off, Leah and I had just found out our embryo count. For those new to this part of the IVF journey, finding out you have a low embryo count usually means your clinic might suggest doing a fresh transfer instead of freezing them. This is because embryos don’t always survive the freezing and thawing process, so transferring them fresh gives them the best shot at survival.

Some people choose a 3-day fresh transfer to get the embryos into the body as quickly as possible, but Leah and I decided on a 5-day transfer. For us, it felt like if an embryo wasn’t going to make it, we’d rather it not make it outside the body than face that heartbreak after a transfer.

So here’s what happened: my one precious embryo that made it was transferred into Leah, and out of her 12 embryos, one was transferred into me. After that, we had to wait 10 agonizing days to find out if either transfer was successful. Let me tell you, those 10 days felt like an eternity.

The Wait, The Tests, and The Frustration

Now, here’s where I made a rookie mistake—We started taking at-home pregnancy tests. They tell you not to do this for a reason, but the temptation is real! Each test came up negative, and it was an emotional rollercoaster. Looking back, I’d strongly recommend skipping the at-home tests altogether; they can mess with your head more than anything else.

When the blood test day finally came, we were told we’d get a call with the results that same day. But as the hours passed, no one called. It was so frustrating. Something so monumental for us felt like just another task on someone else’s to-do list. The next morning, Leah called the clinic, and I even went to the bloodwork center to try and get answers. When I got home, Leah had finally reached someone.

That’s when we found out: my transfer didn’t take—but Leah’s did.

A Complex, Beautiful Moment

In that moment, I thought I’d feel crushed. But to my surprise, the overwhelming emotion wasn’t sadness—it was pure joy. I was so emotional knowing that my one embryo took and that Leah was pregnant. It’s hard to describe the gratitude I felt in that moment, but it’s something I’ll hold onto forever.

While Leah and I are overjoyed to share this news, I also want to take a moment to acknowledge the parts of this journey that don’t always get talked about. My one embryo did take, but this outcome isn’t one that everyone experiences, and I see and recognize those who are still in the middle of this process. IVF is complex, emotional, and sometimes incredibly isolating. Your efforts are valid, your heartbreak is real, and your journey matters.

Breaking the 12-Week Rule

One of the strangest things about IVF is how early you find out you’re pregnant. And because everyone around you knows you were trying, it feels impossible to keep it a secret. I’ve never been a fan of the 12-week rule. I understand the risks and reasons behind it, but why should we be set up to face the possibilities of loss alone? Why not lean on the people who care about us? So, Leah and I decided not to keep it a secret, and honestly, it felt right for us.

As of today, Leah is officially 12 weeks pregnant, and we couldn’t be more excited. We also found out that we’re having a baby boy! (We’ve picked out a name, but are you supposed to keep it a secret? Someone let me know how this works—I’m new here!)

This baby feels like such a beautiful gift, and in so many ways, I feel like my dad had a hand in this. Losing him this year was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through, but knowing a baby boy is on the way feels like a connection to him. It’s like he’s sending us love and hope from wherever he is.

Advice for Others Considering IVF

If you’re considering IVF, my biggest advice is to stay realistic. That’s what’s helped me stay grounded through all the highs and lows. It’s a process full of incredible joy, but also moments of deep grief and sadness. For me, acknowledging all the possibilities has been a way of protecting my heart while still moving forward.

While today we’re celebrating, I want to end this post by holding space for the complexities of this process. To anyone still navigating IVF, please know that your feelings—whether they’re hopeful, heartbroken, or somewhere in between—are valid. This is just one chapter of our story, and it’s been filled with both immense joy and moments of deep uncertainty. Wherever you are in your journey, you are not alone.

Sending so much love to anyone walking this path. Thank you for being part of ours. 💕