A Mother's Instinct, a Father's Fight, and the NICU That Changed Everything

Before sitting down with Lindsey, I thought I knew what fear felt like. I thought I understood trauma. But somewhere around the part where she says, “I didn’t even want her to look at me,” I lost it. Fully lost it.

Lindsey is someone I’ve known for years—we went to college together—but hearing her story like this, as a mother, as someone who’s had to make impossible decisions in seconds... it hit differently. This wasn’t just a medical emergency. It was a full-blown unraveling of everything she had planned, hoped, and trusted in.

The Babymoon That Turned Into a Birth Trauma

Lindsey and her husband Joe were supposed to be soaking in the last moments of calm before baby number two arrived. Turks & Caicos. A relaxing escape. A hot meal served hot. A vacation without their toddler. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary—until everything was.

At just 27 weeks, Lindsey experienced a sudden placental abruption. One minute, she was enjoying dinner. The next, she was bleeding and being rushed to a small island hospital where she would deliver her daughter Logan, via emergency C-section.

Logan was born weighing 2 pounds 9 ounces. Tiny. Vulnerable. And very far from the kind of medical care she needed. That’s when Joe—calm, determined, and resourceful as hell—sprang into action.

With no NICU equipped to care for a micro-preemie, Joe coordinated an international air evacuation to fly their daughter from the island to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. And while the world around them moved like chaos, he handled the logistics of birth certificates, consulates, insurance, and jet permissions. The man became a one-person rescue team.

Lindsey, meanwhile, had just undergone major surgery. She wasn’t cleared to fly. So she did what only a mother could do—she sent her baby and her husband ahead, trusting that Logan was in the best hands. She flew commercial, in first class, two days postpartum. She cried on the plane next to a stranger. She got home and walked herself into the NICU because no one told her not to. She kept showing up.

3 Things I Learned About Birth Trauma from Lindsey

1. Guilt will find a way in—even when it’s not your fault.

“I didn’t even want her to look at me... I thought she’d be mad at me for putting her there.”

That line. That heartbreak. Lindsey carried guilt that wasn’t hers to carry—and that’s the thing about birth trauma. It creeps in, wraps around the good moments, and makes you question everything.

2. The NICU isn’t just about the baby—it changes the whole family.

“I was walking through the NICU like a zombie... I hadn’t even healed from my C-section.”

Lindsey shared how the NICU was physically and emotionally exhausting. She and Joe processed it differently. He felt safe there—she felt desperate to leave. Both valid. Both deeply human.

3. Your story doesn’t have to be the worst to matter.

“People say, ‘Well my story isn’t as bad as yours’... but if it was traumatic for you, it matters.”

This was a moment I needed to hear too. Trauma isn’t a competition. Your pain is yours. And it’s enough.

The Bigger Picture: Advocating Through the Aftermath

What Lindsey and Joe went through is extraordinary, but what stuck with me even more was how she’s turned that pain into purpose. She shares openly. She takes late-night texts from other NICU moms. She doesn’t pretend it’s all okay now—but she shows that healing is possible.

This is what For The Hayters is really about. It’s about sitting in the messy, complicated truth of what it means to live through something hard and come out changed. It’s about telling the stories that most people keep quiet. Because somewhere, someone is sitting alone, thinking they’re the only one. And they’re not.

If You’re a NICU Parent—or Love One

This episode is for you. It’s for the ones who left the hospital without their baby. It’s for the ones who spent weeks sleeping in chairs. It’s for the ones who blamed themselves. It’s for the ones still healing.

Your story matters.

Listen to Lindsey’s Full Story

🎧 Listen to For The Hayters on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

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With love,Becky