Advocating for Your Health: Surviving PCOS, Medical Gaslighting, and Infertility

I’m going to be honest—this conversation made me angry. Not at my guest, but for her.

We need to talk about the absolute exhaustion of knowing something is wrong with your body, only to have a doctor look you in the eye and tell you you’re "too young" to have real problems.

I sat down with Sonia, and her story hit me right in the chest. There was a specific moment she shared—a moment where she was sitting on her couch, holding half a sandwich, and just sobbing. She wasn't crying because she was sad; she was crying because she was terrified that eating that sandwich would make her gain ten pounds overnight.

That is not a "normal" relationship with food. That is a woman who has been gaslighted by the medical system into believing her unexplained weight gain is a personal failure rather than a metabolic symptom.

Sonia’s story is about PCOS, infertility, and the suffocating weight of cultural silence. But more than that, it’s a masterclass in why you have to be your own biggest advocate.

The Girl Who Knew Too Much (But Wasn't Listened To)

Sonia grew up in a strict Hispanic household in Richmond, Virginia. She describes herself as the "sneaky kid," navigating a culture where you don't talk about the birds and the bees, you don't discuss mental health, and you certainly don't talk about reproductive struggles.

From a young age, she was translating medical documents for her immigrant parents, forced to grow up fast. But when her own body started sending alarm bells at age 16—missed periods, irregularity—she did what many of us do: she ignored it.

Then came the weight gain.

Shortly after getting married at 18 (to her high school sweetheart, shout out to the supportive partners out there!), Sonia gained 50 to 60 pounds almost instantly. She wasn't overeating. She wasn't lazy. She was going months without a period, taking pregnancy test after pregnancy test, only to see negative results.

At 19, she went to an OBGYN, desperate for answers. The doctor’s response? "You're young. Everything is normal. Just lose weight."

They ran labs. They told her the labs were "normal."

Two years later, with symptoms getting worse, she saw a different doctor. Same story. Ultrasound? "Normal." Husband’s semen analysis? "Perfect."

Sonia hit rock bottom. Her mother, not understanding the medical reality, pressured her about her weight, thinking she was eating for five people. Sonia spiraled into depression and disordered eating, starving herself one day and bingeing the next, convinced her body was broken and it was all her fault.

The twist came from the most unexpected place. Sonia started working at a fertility clinic. Surrounded by specialists, she finally asked one of the doctors she worked with to take her on as a patient.

He looked at the exact same history the other doctors had dismissed. He ran an HSG test. He looked at her labs.

And he found the truth.

Sonia had an AMH (Anti-Müllerian Hormone) level of 1. For her age, it should have been a 4. Her ovarian reserve was drastically low. She was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) based on the Rotterdam criteria—irregular periods and adrenal issues causing insulin resistance.

She wasn't crazy. She wasn't "just eating too much." She was fighting a metabolic and reproductive battle with zero support.

3 Things I Learned About Advocating for Your Fertility

Sonia’s transition from a dismissed patient to an educated fertility worker blew my mind. Here is what I took away from our chat.

1. "Normal" on a Lab Result Can Be a Lie

This part actually shocked me. Sonia had her labs done by regular OBGYNs who told her everything was "within normal range." But when a fertility specialist looked at those same metrics, he saw a glaring red flag.

An AMH of 1 at age 22 is not normal. It indicates a low ovarian reserve.

The Lesson: If a general practitioner tells you your labs are fine but you still feel like garbage, get a copy of the results. Take them to a specialist. "Normal" ranges vary depending on who is reading them.

2. PCOS is "Diabetes of the Ovaries"

I’ve heard of PCOS, but I didn't fully grasp the metabolic nightmare it causes until Sonia broke it down. It’s not just about cysts; it’s about insulin resistance.

Sonia explained that calorie deficits often don't work for women with PCOS because their bodies are in a constant state of metabolic stress.

• The Fixes: Sonia found relief with Metformin (usually for diabetics) and eventually GLP-1 medications (like Semaglutide), which finally helped regulate her periods and weight.

• The Supplements: She swears by Inositol (often called "nature's Metformin"), Vitamin D for fatigue, and Omega-3s.

3. Google IS Your Friend

We are constantly told, "Don't Dr. Google your symptoms." Sonia disagrees, and frankly, so do I.

If Sonia hadn't started doing her own research, she wouldn't have known what questions to ask. She wouldn't have realized that her symptoms matched adrenal PCOS. Researching gives you the vocabulary to push back when a doctor tries to dismiss you. It prompts you to ask, "Hey, my AMH is 1. Is that actually okay for a 22-year-old?"

The Expert Take: Stop Waiting for Permission

What I love about Sonia is that she refused to accept the narrative that she was just "unlucky." But it breaks my heart that she had to literally work in a fertility clinic to get decent care.

This brings up a massive issue in women's health: The waiting game.

We are told to wait until we are older to worry about fertility. We are told to wait a year of "trying" before seeing a specialist. We are told to wait until we lose weight to get treatment.

Sonia’s advice? Freeze your eggs. Get tested. Do it now.

Even if you are 20 and queer, even if you are single, even if you aren't sure you want kids yet. Environmental factors and processed foods are affecting our fertility rates. By the time many women realize they have an issue (like low AMH), they are in their 30s and their options are limited.

Also, can we talk about the partner aspect? Sonia’s husband didn’t blame her. He didn’t pressure her. When she was deep in depression, he gave her tough love—"Choose your hard"—but he stood by her.

Life is not meant to be lived alone, and it’s certainly not meant to be lived with a partner who makes you feel guilty for medical issues you can’t control.

You Know Your Body Best

If you take one thing away from Sonia’s story, let it be this: Trust your gut.

If you are gaining weight and barely eating, that is not normal. If your periods are vanishing, that is not normal. If a doctor dismisses you because of your age, fire that doctor.

You are the CEO of your own body. It is okay to be "difficult." It is okay to ask for copies of your labs. It is okay to demand answers.

You are not alone in this. Whether you are navigating infertility, PCOS, or just a healthcare system that won’t listen—we see you.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, and neither is Sonia (though she plays one on TV... kidding, she works in the field). Always consult with a specialist regarding your specific health needs.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who might be struggling in silence. You never know who needs to hear this.

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