Breaking Generational Cycles: Ashlee's Story of Resilience and Reckoning

I Didn't Expect This Part to Break Me

We’d talk about addiction, grief, healing—all things I’ve navigated in some way myself. But nothing prepared me for the moment she said, “I’m my own backup plan.”

That sentence cracked something open in me.

Because I know what it feels like to walk through life wondering if anyone is going to catch you when you fall. To carry the weight of being everything for everyone, especially your kids, while feeling like you’ve got no one in your own corner.

Ashlee didn’t just share a story. She handed over her truth—unpolished, unfiltered, and completely disarming. And I’m better for having sat across from her.

From Chaos to Compassion

Ashlee grew up surrounded by addiction. Her childhood was marked by instability, emotional trauma, and eventually, the loss of both of her parents. Her father—a biker with a binge-drinking problem—was terrifying to her as a child, yet somehow became her best friend as she got older. Her mother, battling addiction, eventually became homeless and passed away under circumstances that were both tragic and suspicious.

But instead of letting those cycles continue, Ashlee made a different choice.

She became a single mother. She went back to school. And when the systems around her weren’t built to support her as a parent in college, she built her own. She pitched a parent peer support group while still in school—a group that continued even after she left.

Ashlee has taken every broken piece from her past and used it to build something stronger, more compassionate, more intentional. Whether she’s journaling with her kids, modeling healthy self-talk, or co-parenting with her ex’s ex (yes, really), she’s rewriting the story she was given.

3 Things I Learned About Breaking Generational Cycles

• You can love someone deeply and still say, "That ends with me."Ashlee gives grace to her parents without excusing what they did. She honors the parts of them that were beautiful, but doesn’t carry forward what harmed her.

• Peace is a skill.For people raised in chaos, stillness can feel unbearable. Ashlee reminded me that learning to sit with yourself, to not chase the high or the fight, is something you have to practice.

• Kindness starts with how you speak to yourself.The way Ashlee models self-compassion for her kids—because she knows she’s shaping their inner voice—hit me hard. That’s not just parenting. That’s generational repair.

The Expert Take: Why Stories Like This Matter

There’s something radical about choosing to parent differently than you were parented. About saying, "I’m not going to pass this down." That kind of choice isn’t easy. It’s daily work. It’s therapy and grace and honest conversations and sometimes crying in the car while your kids are inside.

Ashlee's story lives right at the heart of what For The Hayters is about: using your pain to build a bridge for someone else. She could have let the trauma define her. Instead, she used it as a blueprint for something better.

This episode is for anyone who’s ever wondered if they’re strong enough to do it differently. Spoiler: you are.

Listen to the Full Episode

If Ashlee’s story moved you even a little, you need to hear the full conversation. There’s so much more we unpack—grief, forgiveness, co-parenting, self-worth.

🎧 Listen to For The Hayters on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

📺 Watch the full video episode on YouTube

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You are not your past. You are the author now.

If you're struggling with addiction, grief, or trauma, please reach out to someone. You are never alone. Resources are listed in the episode description.