From "Empty Sac" to Miracle Mom: Surviving Miscarriage, IVF, and Pandemic Pregnancy

I’m going to be honest—before I sat down with Shahina, I thought I had heard every variation of the IVF horror story. I thought I knew the drill: the shots, the waiting, the retrievals.

But then she told me about her ovaries "floating" away and a doctor having to go through her abdomen to get her eggs, and my jaw hit the floor.

Shahina is the definition of resilience. She reached out to me back in 2019 when she was in the thick of heartbreak, and having her back on the show now—with two beautiful daughters and a completely different life—was a full-circle moment that actually made me tear up.

We need to talk about the things we’re scared to say out loud: the confusing grief of a "blighted ovum," the isolation of pregnancy during COVID, and the guilt of feeling pain when you know others "have it worse."

If you have ever felt like your body was fighting against you, or if you’ve ever sat in a waiting room surrounded by pregnant bellies while your heart was breaking, this one is for you.

The Silence of the "Empty Sac"

Shahina and her husband have a love story that started at Toys R Us (RIP to a real one). They waited a while to start a family, assuming—like we all do—that when the time came, it would just happen.

And at first, it did. But then came the ultrasound.

They went in expecting a heartbeat and left with a term I hadn’t really understood until now: a blighted ovum. There was a sac, but it was empty.

Shahina talked about the specific, confusing grief of that moment. She didn't know if she was "allowed" to mourn. Was it a baby? Was it a miscarriage? She felt like an imposter in her own grief. Then, cruelest of all, the doctor’s office sent her right back out into a waiting room full of happy, pregnant women to process the news that her pregnancy was over.

After a D&C and a healing period, it happened again. A second pregnancy. A second blighted ovum. A second heartbreak.

That’s when the fight really started.

After three failed IUIs, they moved to IVF. And this is where Shahina’s story gets wild. Her doctor couldn't find her ovaries during ultrasounds because they were "floating." During her retrieval, he had to go through her abdomen just to get to them. They only got three eggs.

By all statistical accounts, it shouldn't have worked. They were told to expect to lose half at every stage. But against the odds, she ended up with two normal, healthy embryos.

Then, just as she was prepping for a transfer... the world shut down. COVID hit. Her clinic canceled everything.

When she finally did get pregnant, she spent the entire time in isolation, working from home, terrified. At one point, she passed a massive clot and sat in her bathroom convinced it was over, while her husband waited in the parking lot because he wasn't allowed inside.

Spoiler alert: It wasn't over. That little embryo held on.

3 Things I Learned About Resilience and "Miracles"

Shahina dropped so much wisdom in this episode, but these three things really stuck with me.

1. Grief is Not a Competition

Shahina admitted she often prefaced her story by saying, "I know I didn't struggle as long as others," or "I know I didn't have a stillbirth." She was constantly invalidating her own pain because she didn't feel it was "bad enough" to count.

We have to stop doing this.

Pain is not a seesaw. Someone else having a harder time doesn't make your heartbreak hurt any less. "I felt like I had to be that way," she told me. "But it is valid. It is a legitimate thing." If you are hurting, you are hurting. You don't need to qualify it.

2. Don’t Leave the Ladder Up

After Shahina had her babies (one IVF miracle and one total surprise natural pregnancy!), she didn't just leave the infertility community. She stayed in the Facebook groups. She kept her notifications on.

She realized that when everyone who succeeds leaves the group, all that’s left is fear and hopelessness. She stayed to show people that it can work. "If nobody’s in there anymore that has seen the positive side of it, who’s there to tell the people like you this is possible?"

That is what true community looks like.

3. Advocate for Your Comfort

During the height of the pandemic, Shahina made the tough call to tell her boss she wasn't coming into the office. She set boundaries with family about masks. She missed out on the "normal" baby shower and the hospital visitors, but she protected her peace and her pregnancy.

It wasn't what she pictured. She mourned the experience she didn't get. But she learned that "only you can decide what the right method is for you." Whether that’s working from home, skipping a baby shower because you’re jealous, or talking about your miscarriage on Facebook—you have to do what saves you.

The Expert Take: The "Seesaw" of Suffering

I want to circle back to something we touched on: the guilt of the "lucky ones."

Shahina mentioned feeling guilty because she "only" tried for a few years, or because she eventually got her miracle. I see this so often in our community. We treat suffering like a limited resource, afraid that if we claim our space, we’re taking it from someone else.

But here is the truth: Trauma changes you, even if the story has a happy ending.

Shahina is a mother of two now, but she is still the woman who sobbed in a waiting room. She is still the woman who woke up from surgery scared. Those versions of her still exist.

Healing isn't about forgetting the pain or pretending it wasn't that bad; it's about integrating it. It’s about looking at your life now and saying, I survived that.

If you are currently in the trenches of the "wait"—waiting for a positive test, waiting for a retrieval, waiting for a call from the doctor—please listen to Shahina when she says: 

"You’re going to be okay. Your marriage is going to survive this... and you’re going to grow from this."

You Are Not Alone

Whether you are mourning a blighted ovum, navigating IVF, or raising toddlers and wondering how you got here, your story matters.

You don't have to hide your grief just because it looks different than someone else's. And you certainly don't have to walk through this fire alone.

If you want to connect with Shahina, you can find her on Instagram at @iamshahina. And as always, if you need a place to scream, cry, or laugh at the absurdity of it all, come join our Facebook group.

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