Medical Gaslighting Nearly Killed Her. Becca Trusted Her Gut Anyway.

I didn’t expect was how angry I’d feel during this conversation. Not at her — at the system. At the doctors who dismissed her, the pain that was brushed off, and the years she spent fighting to be taken seriously.

There’s a moment in our conversation where Becca talks about being in so much pain she took 300mg of edibles — just trying to cope. And even that didn’t touch it. That’s when I felt my throat tighten. Because I know what it’s like to feel desperate for answers. I know the gut-punch of being told “you’re fine” when your body is screaming otherwise.

Her story stayed with me long after the mic was off.

Becca’s Story: Fighting for Her Life in a System That Didn’t Listen

Becca was just 17 when she got her Crohn’s diagnosis. It came after months of hiding intense pain and sudden weight loss. She’d lose sleep from stomach cramps, miss parts of class, and avoid talking about it out of shame. But even after getting that diagnosis, the story didn’t end — it got harder.

Years of “unexplained” abdominal pain followed. She was told it was gastritis. Maybe gallbladder issues. Maybe anxiety. Doctor after doctor ran the wrong tests. Every scan came back “normal.” But Becca’s pain didn’t go away.

Eventually, on her third day at a new job, she ended up in the ER vomiting uncontrollably, doubled over in pain. That’s when a nurse finally told her the truth: “You have multiple bowel obstructions. We need to act now.”

She spent six days in the hospital, a tube up her nose and down her throat, crying out in pain. Her dad — who she had never seen cry — broke down next to her hospital bed.

That was the beginning of a long stretch of hospitalizations, steroid treatments, scopes, and fighting for her right to be taken seriously.

And somehow, she kept going.

3 Things I Learned About Medical Gaslighting

1. “Normal” test results don’t mean you're okay.

Becca’s imaging came back clean for years. But her pain was real, and the damage was real. Medical trauma doesn’t always look like malpractice — sometimes it looks like being quietly dismissed over and over again.

2. You don’t need permission to advocate for yourself.

When her GI doctor said to wait for an appointment weeks away, Becca demanded a second opinion. That scope finally revealed the scarring that would lead to her life-saving surgery. She trusted her gut — literally and figuratively.

3. Invisible illness is still illness.

Crohn’s, PCOS, and chronic pain don’t always show on the outside. But they take a huge toll — physically, mentally, emotionally. Becca reminded me how often people suffer in silence because they don’t “look sick.”

The Bigger Picture: Why This Matters

What Becca went through wasn’t just a medical journey — it was a fight for dignity. For validation. For truth. And that’s what For The Hayters is really about.

When we tell these stories, we’re not just airing someone’s trauma. We’re naming the thing that so many people feel but are afraid to say out loud: “I don’t feel safe in the system that’s supposed to take care of me.”

That fear can be paralyzing. Especially when you're young. Especially when you’ve already been taught not to “make a fuss.” But Becca made a fuss. She kept asking questions. She kept showing up. Even when she was exhausted. Even when it hurt. Even when it felt hopeless.

That’s resilience.

That’s bravery.

And that’s the kind of story we need to hear more of.

To Anyone Who's Ever Been Dismissed

If you’ve ever walked out of a doctor’s office feeling unheard or ashamed — this story is for you.

If you’ve ever cried from pain and been told it was “normal” — this story is for you.

If you’re still waiting for a diagnosis, still fighting for clarity, still advocating for yourself in the face of doubt — this story is definitely for you.

You are not alone. Your pain is real. You’re allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to ask for better care.

And if no one else believes you, I believe you.

🎧 Listen to For The Hayters on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

📺 Watch the full video episode on YouTube

💬 Share this post with a friend who needs to feel less alone

Her story might just help someone find the courage to speak up. Maybe that someone is you.