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Writer's pictureBecky Hayter

Our IVF Journey: Navigating the Ups and Downs

Leah and I have been pretty open about our IVF journey, and today I wanted to share a quick update as we continue through the ups and downs. Honestly, nothing could have prepared us for the frustration and emotional rollercoaster that this process brings. I knew it would be hard, but some days it feels like it's more than we signed up for. It’s been overwhelming at times, filled with moments of confusion and uncertainty. But, despite it all, we’re making progress. And that’s what keeps us moving forward—step by step.


This week felt especially monumental. After two long weeks of needles, blood tests, and constant monitoring, we finally had our retrievals. It was a strange mix of relief and anxiety to get to this point, knowing it’s a milestone but still not the finish line. Leah was amazing, as always. She faced a few complications afterward, which added another layer of worry, but thankfully, we ended up with a good number of embryos. That was such a win for us.


On my end, the results weren’t as we’d hoped. Right now, I have just one embryo. One. I’m trying not to focus too much on the numbers, but after 10 months of this journey, it’s hard not to feel a little deflated. The “what ifs” creep in so easily. What if it doesn’t make it? What if we have to start over? We’ll know in a few days whether it’s viable, and the wait is hard.


It’s tough to shift our mindset from what we initially pictured when we started this process. I think when you go into IVF, you have this idea of how things will unfold. You prepare yourself mentally, but reality has its own agenda. And the truth is, it’s not always what we want. But at the same time, I know we’re not in the worst situation. We’re still in it, still hopeful, and that's something I try to remind myself of every day.


One of the things that has kept me grounded through all of this is Leah. I am so grateful for her. Even when things feel impossible, we find a way to keep laughing, to keep supporting each other, and to stay focused on the bigger picture. We are so determined to build our family, even if it doesn’t happen the way we initially planned. The road may look different in the future, but that doesn’t make the destination any less important to us.


What I’ve realized is how important it is to stay open about this experience. I know so many people go through IVF in silence, and the truth is, it’s hard to talk about. There’s this weird pressure to have it all figured out or to stay positive all the time, and that’s just not how it works. Some days are awful, and other days, you feel a tiny bit of hope that keeps you going. Talking about it helps. It’s one way to process the whirlwind of emotions, and I hope by sharing our story, others feel less alone in theirs. IVF can be such an isolating journey, and if opening up means someone else feels seen or understood, then it’s worth it.


Lastly, I have to say this: if you have the means to freeze your eggs while you’re young, please do it. I can’t emphasize that enough. Leah and I waited until we were "ready" to start a family, which made sense for us at the time. But looking back, I wish we had at least started the retrieval process sooner. The reality is, time isn’t always on our side when it comes to fertility.


So, here we are, waiting again—waiting to see if our one embryo holds on, waiting to see what our next step will be. It’s hard, but I’m holding onto hope. We’re holding onto hope. And whatever happens, we’ll figure it out together.

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