Watching From the Couch: Brittany’s Story of Grief, Growth, and Getting Back Up

I didn’t expect was how much of her story would live in the silences—the pauses between words when grief catches you off guard, or the way she still softens when talking about her son Bentley, who she lost at 24 weeks pregnant.

There’s a moment I keep replaying in my head: she was lying on the floor of a hotel room, her water breaking, her baby slipping from her body at 23 weeks and 6 days. The hospital wouldn't intervene because she was just one day shy of viability. And she held her baby boy as he passed in her arms.

That moment wrecked me.

But somehow, Brittany didn’t stay down. She lost both her siblings to addiction. She lost her first child. She’s navigated a deeply fractured relationship with her mom, a complicated goodbye to her biological father, and years of depression. And still—she chose life. She chose change. She chose to get off the couch.

From Loss to Lifted

Brittany is a 29-year-old mom of three living in North Dakota. Her story doesn’t unfold in neat chapters. It’s layered and raw and deeply human.

She grew up in a home shaped by addiction and mental illness. Her biological father was in prison for manslaughter until she was eight, and while her stepdad helped raise her, the environment was chaotic. Screaming, yelling, emotional distance—it was all she knew. Brittany thought dysfunction was just… normal.

Her older siblings, Ashley and Ronnie, were her anchors. They were the only ones who truly understood what growing up like that felt like. When Brittany lost Ashley to heroin and fentanyl just two months after high school, it shattered her. And when Ronnie died a week after she gave birth to her second son, she broke all over again.

And in between? She lost her first son, Bentley, during pregnancy. Her body gave out before it should have. Her doctor failed her. Her grief swallowed her.

“I watched Weston grow up from the couch,” she told me, and I felt that in my bones.

But Brittany didn’t stay on the couch.

She lost 130 pounds. She became a personal trainer. She stepped on a bodybuilding stage—loose skin and all—to honor the girl who once didn’t believe she was worthy of anything more.

This is what reclaiming your life looks like.

3 Things I Learned About Navigating Grief

• Grief doesn’t always look like tears. Sometimes it looks like zoning out, overeating, or checking out of your own life. Brittany said it best: “I was breathing heavy on a walk and realized… I’m missing everything.”

• You can love people and still need space from them. Her relationship with her mom is complicated. But she made the brave decision to protect her peace—even if that meant blocking her own mother when things got toxic.

• Your healing doesn't need to be perfect to be powerful. Brittany hasn’t done therapy yet. She’s not always ready to face everything. But she’s still healing in her own way—through lifting, through motherhood, through showing up.

What This Episode Reminded Me

As the host of For The Hayters, I’ve heard hundreds of stories. But this one hit different.

Brittany’s story is a reminder that navigating grief isn’t about “moving on.” It’s about moving through. It's waking up one day and deciding to take one step, even if you're still hurting. It’s doing something—anything—to get off the couch, even if you don’t feel ready.

She showed me that strength isn't loud. It's not always brave in the traditional sense. Sometimes strength is letting go of people who drain you. Sometimes it's walking across a stage with your insecurities on full display, not to win, but to honor who you used to be.

And sometimes—it's just breathing through the pain and whispering, “I will not let this be the end of me.”

That’s what Brittany did.

And that’s what For The Hayters is all about.

If You’re Grieving, Read This

If you’re in the thick of loss—whether it’s a person, a version of yourself, or a life you thought you’d have—this is your reminder:

You’re allowed to take your time. You’re allowed to sit on the couch.But you’re also allowed to get back up.

There is no shame in starting over.

There is no timeline for healing.

Just don’t believe the lie that you have to stay stuck.

🎧 Listen to For The Hayters on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

📺 Watch the full video episode on YouTube

💬 Share this post with a friend who needs to feel less alone